Greetings from my bed, friends. My eyes are at half-mast. My fingers are jumbled, fumbling for letters, feeling for words. I probably told you this week would be different, that I’d tell you so many special things…and I’m sure that’s still true, that there are things inside of me that I can share with you that you would think are special… Unfortunately, I have officially taken a Benadryl and am slowly departing from consciousness.
I have a food allergy. A bad one, a selective one. I am allergic to seafood. This is bad because — of the many things I love most, I love seafood EVEN MORE. In 1990, my family had an epic family reunion in Virginia. One night an entire cage of cooked blue crabs was strewn across the dining table, piled on a bed of newspaper. In the video you can see my mother swiftly cracking shells open, plucking the meat and discreetly feeding it to a small head, barely visible above the table. A dog? Nope, five-year old bird, me.
They say I’ve been over-saturated with seafood. Is that even possible? Is it even science? Whatever it is, when the rashes began and my throat occasionally tightened, and seafood was blamed, I felt thoroughly punished. Hand-wringing occurred. Weeping. I was devastated, devastated! I tried to bargain. In my prayers, I offered to trade my longtime crush for some crab legs. Meaningless television-watching for sushi?
And then an answer.
As it turns out, my allergy can be tempered if I pop a Benadryl. Some seafood is still off limits, but my longtime love for blue crabs has been restored to its original glory. If the price is getting knocked out a few hours later, put it on my card, friend. Anyway, at this point I am delirious. So sleepy.
see the heart shapes?
Oh, okay, yes, goodnight.